I don't think brook has ever known best
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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