dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
