My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
