I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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