I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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