sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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