Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
