D3 body, D1 cock
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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