and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
