I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
