Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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