is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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