Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
