after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
