i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
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