I wanna bring you to show and tell
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
