You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
