It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
