when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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