Pappa wants mamma naked
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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