There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
