so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
