I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
3pm strippers are depressing
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
