Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
