a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
