the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
