i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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