He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
