...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
