I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
what day is it and did you see me today?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
