ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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