3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
