My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
