I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
