Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
