How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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