oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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