yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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