I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
