HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I party with great urgency now.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
