the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
