It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
The air taste purple.
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