i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
