so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Never underestimate the power of titties
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
