hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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