I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
