You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Randomize
