Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
