i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
