Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
