It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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