So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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