Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
